Kaotic Rhetoric

Nicole Bitchie

2007-08-24T10:03:00.000-04:00

WTF?!

WTF?!

Ok. The Paris Hilton thing was bad..............but WTF?!

Nicole Camille Richie spent 82 minutes (35 of which was spent in the actual cell) in jail yesterday. That's between 3:15pm to 4:30pm.

DUI once again!
But this is where we get our "Hollywood Streak"...
Supposedly the cops caught her driving on the wrong side of the HIGHWAY.
Forget street.....Highway!
That would mean she would be drunk to the point of driving up an exit ramp with cars going down. Heading north in southbound traffic, south with northbound traffic.

Again......wtf?!

So for endangering I don't know how many lives, Little Miss Bitchie doesn't even receive a pat on the back...No! This time, the pussywhipped L.A. County Sherriff's Office offer her a pedicure and a massage for such negligence.

Wait, did I just say negligence?
I'm sorry, I meant unintentional inibriated vehicular homocide.

When it comes down to the issue you at hand...
It seems Nicole can suck cock better than Paris.
And although Paris might of sucked the right people.
Still, with Nicoles's 82 minutes...It seems quantity won this round.

Let's run it:

Processing in L.A. Sherriff's Office - 27 minutes
Time spent in cell - 35 minutes
Playing "Jail House Cocks" - 20 minutes
OVERALL TIME +Release - 82 minutes

Congradulations celebrities!
You have your get-out-of-jail free cards.

Leave your sorry ass reputation and good name at the door.

I cannot wait until some of you kill someone while on DUI.
Because I haven't been to Hollywood, CA yet.
I want my first visit to be memorable, like watching you get hauled off without a chance for parole. Because after all, you sucked all those cocks once before.

They say victory tastes bitter sweet.
For you I think it's salty.

Splitting Hairs

2007-08-17T14:59:00.000-04:00

It's amazing what happends when two people split up.

There is always the party that is the hypocrit one.
You will usually find it out through the obvious signs.
One one says: "Oh let's just be friends!" or "I will always care about you".

The truth is, they do not.
They could give two shits if you got cancer and got shot at while driving and skidded down the highway flipping the car into a ravine resulting in a permanent comatose state!

But OF COURSE, they will care only when they want something from you.
That is, if you remain in contact with them.
It's unfortunate that whether a person chooses to remain in contact or not.
They're ex's hunt them down with vigilance to pour more acid on the scars of "friendship".

I, of course, remain respectful. Well mannered nowadays.
I realize their true intentions. I could care less about what they want.
So, if they want a favor; I will ask one in return.
If I don't receive it. Fuck 'em!
Now I have the proper reason to shit on their request and rub it in their pretty little faces.

I have no idea who's reading this blog, if they relate or in fact the subjects at hand.
If you ARE, indeed the subject at hand. You have no idea how long I've waited for you to hear me say this.........Fuck off! Your opinion, requests, sweet-talking, double-crossing agenda....is, in fact.........shit to me.

So with all said and done.
If you split up with someone. Whatever agreement you would make; be it "still friends" or bitter enemies, STICK TO IT!

None of this "Janus" complex bullshit!

Corporate Crossfire

2007-08-10T12:28:00.000-04:00

I had no idea what I would get myself into with my job.
Little did I know that I would enter the american corporate world.

Lucky I am at the bottom of the pyramid scheme.
Knowing that I make the base, if people in my position shake out of it on a massive scale, the head fuck at the apex falls down faster than a plane on September 11th (there's your abrasive element!).

Sometimes though, you get hit with what I'd like to call "corporate reality".
This is when an employee realizes that despite his position, he/she can get hit with a plethora of corporate sabotage. Anything from sneeky "reply to all" embarrassments, to all out shouting matches on a conference call.

Then you have me.
Someone who doesn't really give a flying fuck whether I reach the top of this specific organization, nor do I genuinely care for anyone in a position of pseudo-power.
But ever-so-often, without intending, nor welcoming.....I get hit.
And when I do, it's noticed and ripples through my superiors.
Now here I am thinking: "Look Mr. and Mrs. cWHOREporate, why don't I demonstrate how people turn homicidal; it starts with a cut...".

Unfortunatly, in the corporate world one must remain somewhat professional.
Therefore, the battles that would often lead to massive medieval bloodshed often carry a deceitfully subtle snuff to them.
This will come in the form of a formal e-mail, twisted-tongued phone conversations, fake-smiles during dinner meetings.

In the words of my Jewish mother: "Oye Vey!"

So here I am, stuck in the muddy rut that is the corporate world.
I might not know all the tricks of the trade, nor do I deny any of the good advantages to joining the corporate latter (as vicious as it is), but I am experienced in the outskirts to corporate sabotage.

All thanks to me being caught........by corporate crossfire.

One Annoying Pet Peeve

2007-08-09T13:22:00.000-04:00

This is one of my greatest pet peeves:

People who put on a facade, AND continue to do so even though they know that I busted that little cocoon which once protected them.

Good example:

The other night I went out with some friends to play some pool.
I bumped into this college buddy of mine (haven't spoken nor seen him in years).
After exchanging pleasantries, he introduced his girlfriend to me.

As luck would have it, all hell broke loose from that point on.

I said something along the lines of: "so you and (his girl from college) split up?"
Grant it, I was a little tipsy so a "here's your sign" line was the only thing I could come up with.

So how then did that seemingly innocent line destroy this man's night?
His "current" girlfriend turns to me and says: "What are you talking about? (guy's name) and I have been dating for the past 5 years".

[Insert suspense music now]

This was a smack in the face for the guy too. After all those years, it only took an old college friend to bust his 5 year affair out.

See, this guy has been "dedicated" to 2 girls. Both of which are in a 20 mile vacinity to his house.
The college girl was his girl since I've known him, while the other was a bang on the side.
Or the other way around.

Anyhow...

This guy tried to explain himself to her, regardless of how much pwnage he suffered from his girl No. 2. She began ripping him with past experiences which enlightened this perdicament further.
Then the greatest thing happened!!!

This guy turns to me and starts yelling!
He brings about a full fabrication as a veil to cover his own mistakes.
Thinks me an easy target.
And them behold!
His girl actually buys his story. Big "macho" man grabs his girl and walk off.
All the time his girl is kissing him and hugging him as they walk off into the mirage of sunset.

Here is what I don't get:
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE THAT STUPID?!

I just handed that girl a cheating guy on a silver fucking platter!
Girl, you were almost spared further abuse. You were almost spared humiliation and degredation by some fuckwad who, when your back is turned, is fucking the brains out of some other girl.

But no, you weren't saved. You were whisked away on the winds of self-deceit.

I revert back to my pet peeve of facades.
I will add to that those fucknuts who actually become THAT gullible to other's false actions; regardless of how much mounted evidence proves the contrary.

So to all those who put on masks, you are scared little skinny kittens. Pathetic.
To all those gullible enough; moreover, choose to achknowledge the lies. I don't even have time to pity you. Because your beyond all help.

Sheep.

Rules of Attraction....Fuck 'em!

2007-08-08T20:11:00.000-04:00

Greetings Blogosphere! First transmission from the stark raving scientist... I recently met this gorgeous Belgian woman. It had made me realize that I might not be interested in American women anymore. Of course she had what I'd like to call the "Aurora Look". Blond hair, bright eyes; the works. Why Aurora you ask? Simple. Just like the princess from "Sleeping Beauty". Whom I have always been infatuated with. The look that is. And thanks to my ex, glasses became a fetish (cute & innocent until proven otherwise). This woman was graceful, dignified, and wasn't afraid to get to know new people. Of course as my "Murphy's Law" would have it, she has a fiance. And an American one at that! Nonetheless, she proved to me how different women truely are in other countries. Makes me wanna X-File all the women in Europe and bring them here.

When it comes to looks, I have always had my little "Aurora Complex".
Thanks to my Hawaiian Flower, I have a taste for the exotic.
This Hawaiian native has pitch flow of long black hair, piercing dark eyes, and glowing olive skin.
Quite the contrast eh?

But truth be told, I very much admire the oriental look as well.
My concepts of beauty rarely fall under the usual guy T&A.
Eyes, lips (gotta love DSL's), and the back of the shoulders...
Back of shoulders you ask?
Ever seen "Memoires of a Geisha"?
Yeah, that's hot!

But this is all viewed after the initial look.
Women have lost much dignity in this day and age in the U.S.

Those women who wear those little "fuck me!" shorts & skirts, accompanied by the screaming pink shirt reading "SLUT" in bling-bling LISTEN UP!
The only guys you will attract will be those who would want nothing more than to jizz on your tits and call it a day.
If you truely want to look attractive without the sluttyness, research different fashions from around the world. You think a Kimono revealed anything special? (aside from the back of the shoulders) Those women still manage to attract opposite sex without leaving nothing to the imagination.

Trust me, some guys enjoy the sophisticated look with subtle seductive hints.
No need for booty pants & uberlow cut blouses.
God I love that secretarial/librarian look! (scroll up for the glasses fetish) :P

Rules of Attraction.....Fuck 'em!
I have met many women of all shapes and sizes, wearing a mass array of clothing.
Those that were attractive were those dignified, intelligent, friendly women.

Remember, there is no such thing as a beautiful woman; because all women are beautiful!
That is sorta like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", the above would just be generalized version of that.

I guess I should warned you readers that my blogs tend to be more of automatic writing on cruise control than anything else...If you miss it, scroll up.